What’s your commitment?
As a young child, I once sat on the playground, watching a couple across from me deep in conversation. She leaned in, locking her gaze with his, a smile flickering across her face as she whispered, “you are such an arrogant asshole.” I pretended I hadn’t heard, silently hoping for calm. But to my surprise, they began kissing! How could it turn like this? How could harsh words give way to something so tender? I’d been taught otherwise – had my parents gotten it wrong? I was certain of what I had heard and seen.
A few days later, I decided to try this newfound rhetorical ‘skill’ on my preschool teacher—let’s just say the outcome wasn’t quite what I’d envisioned.
Observing adults, I noticed contradictions between what they preached and what they practiced. Their behavior often contradicted the very lessons they sought to teach us. I saw hidden meanings behind rules, prohibitions, and boundaries – especially when it came to things like laughter, commitment, and social niceties (rules on alcohol and smoking seemed to be exceptions). My curiosity and questions went nowhere – it’s apparently acceptable to make out with someone right after calling them an “asshole,” but not so acceptable to question or try to understand it.
Would I too one day surrender to this senseless behavior? Was I the only one struggling to understand? Is this just the natural course of human evolution? Is this what life would hold for me? Is this how things have to be?
Ever since, these questions have lingered, and I’m still working on answers. One place where I explore them is my blog. I write articles, short stories, essays, and more.
Now that I’m older, my vocabulary has evolved, but the essence of my curiosity remains. I delve into cultural studies, language and linguistics, mental acuity and cognition, reflection, meta-perspective, game theory, and everyday musings – like, why are tissues shaped so inconveniently for their actual purpose? All aimed at scrutinizing the quality of our connections.
As you read, I hope you uncover insights, tools, questions, and sparks of joy, maybe even some fuel for your own ideas. My mission is to share and learn, nurture commitment and belonging, and encourage a self-determined lifestyle within a supportive community.
*Please note: I am a writer. It is a craft and an art. As an artist, I permit myself to write from all kinds of perspectives, putting myself into the shoes of many characters, re-defining truth, and creating new worlds. All characters, stories, and writings withold a wide range of my real experience to a totally fantasized piece of art.